lessons from a 10 year marriage

Lessons from a 10-Year Marriage

Last Chinese New Year was our 10th wedding anniversary.  We don’t really celebrate our anniversary but since it’s the 10th year, I thought we should at least do something special for a change.   I told the Hubby right after the New Year that he better plan something that day, because I’m not letting him off the hook this time around.  Well, we ended up in his hometown, in a private resort, swimming in cold water and singing our hearts out at a videoke machine.  And we did it together with the kids and the in-laws.  Love it!

What a Decade of Marriage Taught Me

The other day, as the Hubby was cleaning out some of our drawer, he found my old dairy.  I think it was written around our first year of marriage.  I quickly grab it away from him in case there’s anything he shouldn’t see and scan it myself.  Reading through it, I can’t help but laughed at the silliest things that we fought about back then and how unnecessary long it took us to make up after a fight.  But a decade had passed and so much had changed since then–most, for the better.  Of course, nothing came easy.  It took a lot of hard work and perseverance to make a marriage work no matter how much in love you both are.  If you ask me what a decade of married taught me, I’ll say:

Some things are not worth fighting over.  Truth be told, the Hubby and I had very little things in common.  When we started living together, we found out just how much different we were and yes, we argued a LOT!  But at time goes by, we learned that not every disagreement has to turn into a drama.  Some can and should be let go and every now and then, one has to give in to the other.  Somehow when one started to let go of the little things, there partner follows.  Then you both realized that it wasn’t so bad to give in from time to time.

Kids will change your marriage.  I think every parents know what I mean, and whether it is a positive or negative change would  depend on you.  Us?  We planned for 2 years before our first born came, so every little changes were taken as positive.  Of course, their are some changes that were hard to adjust to.  But all of it helps us matured.  We grew as our kids grew. And as we matured as parents, we also grew as a couple.

It’s okay to be apart sometimes.  We work together in the same company for 9 years. First as a couple then at the later half as husband and wife.  We were together 27/7 and did everything together. When I decided to change work, it was hard for both of us. We missed each other too much!  It was like a habit that was hard to break.  But I think the time we spent apart helped us to appreciate being together more. I even think that our relationship got better because of it.

It’s important to share a common dream.  We all have our own dreams, ones that are sometimes different from our spouse, but amidst it all, it is important to share at least one common dream that you can both work on achieving.  Our own personal dreams and goals help us become our own selves, while our shared dreams makes us one.  Both helps us realize how to value our family.Married for 10 years!

Marriage is hard work.  We were 21 when we first decided to live together.  Four years after, we formally said our “I dos.”  Add 10 more years and countless up and down, and we’re still together, not because of luck or fate but because of hard work.  We have both worked hard to never forget the vow we made and to run toward the future that we promise to live in.  Whether it’s 10 or 20 or 100, we’ll definitely keep on working hard for this marriage while enjoying life and family.

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Nanay Gin

Nanay Gin is a mom of 2, a loving yet crazy wife, wannabe writer, lazy crafter and deprived cook. After quitting her day job to take care of her kids, she now work for an SEO firm - managing websites content, monitoring social channels, and doing online research.